When Lights Collide Chapter 32
Estelle closed her one eye and continued on with her words, “as we see or are aware of all those beautiful moments, we invite them to gather around us, we ask them to stay fresh in our mind, that we might easily access those moments at a later time when we can celebrate our gratitude for those moments as we become aware of our gifts and talents in our physical form.”
“We will now ask that our Inner Child come forward. Our Inner Child is the essence of who we were as a child, they will look as we remember ourselves looking in our childhood.
For they are us, in the purest, most original form of who we were born to be into this world. It is our Inner Child essence that holds all the keys to all the memories of all our days.
It is also our Inner Child who holds all the knowledge of who we were born to be, including our life purpose, our reason for why we chose to come to Earth at this time.
Hold onto the flow of relaxation that brought us to this moment, we are relaxed and safe. We are at ease and at peace about all that we are becoming aware of, in this moment.
What we see is all in our mind, these are thoughts and memories, they hold no power in this moment, this is knowledge that will guide our path.
We were each a part of the Divine Source energy before we chose to be born here on Earth. We chose to be born at the time we were born because we wanted to come here to Earth to assist the Divine Order that was under attack from negative forces.
We chose to be here to fight the good fight as they say.
We ask that our Inner Child, the essence of our childhood, come forward at this time. We ask the little ones to be present here with us, so that we might learn about who we are, about who we were born to be.
Sometimes our Inner Child chooses not to come forward, for various reasons. Mostly because we’ve pushed ourselves to hurry up and become an adult so that we could have the same freedoms as the adults that surrounded us, not knowing the importance of our time in our childhood.
Which has left our Inner Child feeling abandoned and ignored. We now offer our Inner Child love and apologies for not knowing all that we did not know when we were younger.
We now acknowledge the importance of our Inner Child, and we hold out the hands of love to our Inner Child as we await our Inner Child’s decision to come forward for us.
We wait, not as impatient and seeking adults, we wait as a friend would wait, patiently and without pressure. We wait in the awareness that in our days before now, we may not have been the good friend that our Inner Child needed and we offer our apology sincerely.
We wait in the understanding and compassion that our Inner Child and only our Inner Child can choose to meet us where we are right now. We release the need to feel poorly or ashamed of ourselves, we only did what we believed we were supposed to do, we had no awareness of doing any wrongs, we admit that we did not know all that we did not know in all moments before now.
Now we wait in compassionate silence as our Inner Child decides their next steps.”
Estelle paused and waited for the feeling of the energy that would alert her to the awareness and presence of each person’s Inner Child. She knew that her own Inner Child was bouncing happily, waiting in the nearby ethers to come and visit, and she smiled. Estelle had worked a long time on developing a relationship with her Inner Child, and now, she took a moment to talk with her own Inner Child as she awaited energetic notification that the others were ready.
“Hello Stella! How are you my happy little friend?” She felt a shiver of excitement as her mini ether danced into conversation with her.
“Hi, why are we waiting today? Can’t you come and play?” Little Stella asked, her energetic voice full of hope and playfulness.
“Soon sugar, but I have to wait for my friends’ little friends to be ready too, I’m helping my friends meet their Inner Littles today.” Estelle replied happily, thrilled that her Inner Little was happy. Estelle’s own childhood had not been the best as she had needed to grow up fast to be able to help take care of her siblings.
Estelle did not have many happy childhood memories, but thanks to her Inner Little, she was remembering more of the good times that she had long forgotten about in her adulthood.
“Please, please come play with me.” Little Stella begged.
Estelle replied, “How about you come help me help my friends find their Inner Littles and then we can all play?”
Little Stella jumped for joy across Estelle’s mind's eye. “Ok then,” Estelle said “you go get ready on the swings, maybe that will encourage them to come out.”
Little Estelle bounced across the ethers of Estelle’s mind's eye, across a perfectly manicured green lawn and over to the swingset that emerged as Little Stella approached it.
Estelle sent happy words of encouragement to Little Stella before returning to share words with her friends present in the physical realm.
Estelle could feel the misfit energy of Cara’s Inner Child, sitting stubbornly in the sandbox, aware of Cara’s presence, and pretending not to care as Cara sat nearby watching. Estelle smothered a giggle, Cara’s Inner Child was so much like Cara was now, she was surprised that Inner Little refused to talk to Cara.
As Estelle tuned into Daniel, she was met with a shadow. Then quickly realized that it was not actually a shadow, it was Daniel. In being so uncertain about what to do that he was stuck in an energetic limbo.
Estelle shook her head and spoke once more to her friends present in her living room, “We breathe into the awareness of our Inner Child, we relax into allowing our Inner Child to show themself as they choose, if they choose. They may choose to not come forward, that is ok. Allow yourself to remember who you were as a child, would you have talked to someone new? How would you, as a child, approach conversation with a potential new friend?
Remember, we are not forcing the connection with the Inner Child, that connection is always there, we are simply holding the intention to meet with them when and as they are ready.
Working with our Inner Child is an honest and openly free space to allow happiness and joy and playfulness to happen in whatever way that happens is up to the Inner Child, not us.
All children are aware of energy, of how things feel. If the Inner child feels anything other than love and playfulness, they may not feel like coming forward. Just know that they are there, watching, listening and feeling into you.
Breathe in, allow the fresh air to blow through anything that feels stuck, exhale releasing the demand of a connection.”
Estelle paused to feel the energy in the room, she could feel Cara and her Inner Little in a standoff, which in their case, was progress. She felt for Daniel and his Inner Little, and again felt the frustrated energy he was stuck in. She shook her head and rolled her eyes behind closed lids. He was overthinking the situation. She would need to intervene.
“Daniel,” Estelle spoke softly, hoping to hold the current energetic atmosphere of the room,
“What name did people call you as a child?”
Estelle felt the anger in his reply long before he spoke, “That is not who I am, that is not my name.” he spoke through grit teeth.
Tension and anger floated in the air, and Estelle let the moment pass as she tuned in to her Little Stella and asked
“Do you know how to help my friend Daniel to meet his Inner Child?”
Little Stella giggled, “Yes, I can help, I think he is here playing nearby, hang on, I’ll go see.”
In her mind’s eye, Estelle watched as Little Stella ran across the grass to help find Daniel, “Thank you my little friend!” Estelle called out to her.
Back in the living room, Estelle could feel the energy change, the anger became stronger, she scanned for Daniel’s energy and could feel him actually fighting with himself.
Estelle worked to send Daniel peace and calm and mind-spoke to Cara “Honey, this man needs our help to meet his inner little boy, can you send him love and peace with me?”
Cara replied, “I know, I’ve been feeling him too, I’ve been trying, but, I don’t think it's helping.”
Just then Little Stella popped up playfully, trying to surprise Estelle, but also a little wary, “I found him, but he won’t come, he says his Big person hates him and his name, he won’t come, I tried even holding his hand, but he’s scared and won’t come”
Estelle nodded and replied “Thank you Little Stella, you’ve been a big help, I’m going to have to leave for a little bit, but I’ll come back soon. Do you think you could make me a sandcastle over in that sandbox?” Little Stella nodded, “you welcome, and yup, I’ll go right now! Bye!” and off she ran back across the grass and past the swingset to the sandbox.
Estelle pulled her energy back into this moment and was about to speak her physical friends out of their meditation when Daniel pulled them all out fast.
“Dammit!!” he yelled across the room as he stood up, breaking the energy field that the three of them had been building.
Estelle looked to Cara who was frozen and wide eyed in her seat. Estelle looked to Daniel and asked
“What's the problem, and why are you yelling like that in my house, can’t you see you've scared poor Cara frozen?”
Cara’s eyes flicked from Daniel to Estelle and back to Daniel again, she felt just like she had as a child anytime anyone raised their voice in her house.
Daniel flopped down onto the loveseat while raising his hands in surrender, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just-, I couldn’t do it, it felt so hard…” his words faded off as he buried his face in his hands.
“And that’s ok Daniel.” Estelle spoke softly, despite the fact that she wanted to yell right back at him, “It doesn’t always work out the way we think it should, but tell me, why does your Inner Child think that you hate him and why does that poor child believe that you hate him so much that you even hate his name?”
From behind his hands, Daniel replied “I don’t hate him, I don’t. It’s just that name, it’s not his fault, it’s just that being called that name brings up things that I have spent literally years trying to forget.”
Cara, finally realizing that it was safe now that the loud voices had stopped, looked at Daniel, “what happened that made you hate the name Dan-”
She was interrupted as Daniel shot her a look from where he sat, and Cara felt it deep in her heart before Daniel spoke his next words through his gritted teeth,
“Don’t call me that name.”
To keep reading, CLICK HERE for chapter 33!