When Lights Collide Chapter 11
Cara and Estelle sat in the silent aftershock of the sound of the slamming door, just staring at each other.
For a moment, no words were spoken, not even in their minds.
No Guardians whispered any words of guidance nor encouragement.
It was as though, just for a second, the world had simply stopped. No sounds, no movements, nothing but the stillness of the moment.
And then the moment was over.
As quickly as it had been upon them, it was gone, it had passed almost completely unnoticed.
Almost.
Cara was the first to find her voice as Estelle, looking like she just remembered something cute and funny, began to smile.
“What are you smiling about?” Cara asked, surprised that anything at this moment ~ after this evening ~ could be funny,
“You said he couldn’t leave without your blessing… did you allow him to leave?”
As the smile left her face, Estelle replied,
“No, I didn’t give him my blessing to leave, but earlier I did share with him about freewill, and I also forgot that non-believers of the magic of God and All Divine are not bound by the spells and blessings of those of us who do believe.”
She continued, “It's not that Daniel is a non-believer, it's that he has no idea about such things that we hold with respect and honor, and one who does not know about such things, is one who cannot be held by them.”
Cara, a shocked expression still on her face, asked
“So, in this case, his ignorance is also his freedom..?”
Estelle nodded her head in agreement,
“Yes love, yes it is. To carry the knowledge of Divine, is a burden to us all, to some of us it is a blessed burden of love and light, to others it is a cursed burden of restrictions and darkness. It is our own heart and soul that guides us to our own unique viewpoints and beliefs, regardless of what we are dictated to in ‘normal’ society.”
Cara considered the words that she had just heard, all the while, feeling like she was missing something, some key that would help her to completely understand….
“So, then how are we supposed to help someone who holds no knowledge of our ways, yet, our Guardians have guided us to assist, and who just walked out the door!?” Cara demanded in frustration.
She placed her hand to her forehead and rubbed it absently, recalling the events of the evening.
Estelle caught the wave of exhaustion and frustration that rolled off of Cara like a wave of the sea washing over the sands of the beach. Placing her hand on Cara’s shoulder replied,
“Let's never mind about that right now, how about instead you tell me about what had you running in here like a mad woman being chased by the devil himself…?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Daniel stood just outside the front door, still feeling the tension of the door slamming behind him. He didn’t intend to slam it, but it was as though the door had slammed itself, like it somehow ripped itself out of his hand.
He shook his head “You’re losing it buddy.” he thought to no one but himself.
Daniel took the few steps needed to get across the front porch and seated himself at the top of the steps, absently recalling how Cara had looked as she had earlier come running up these same steps, like she was on fire and into the house, and as a result putting him on his arse...
“What was she running from?” Daniel wondered.
He then realized he was wondering about a lot of things.
This evening’s simple sneak peek into a potential problem for the club had turned into an all-out freak show, and Daniel was beginning to feel like he’d been the star attraction.
As he pondered what he’d learned about Cara that evening and debated the potential risk that she might be to the MC, Daniel sat bolt upright, as if he’d been hit by lightning..
“The Club!” he yelled in his mind as he tried frantically to fish his phone out of his pocket.
He felt like he’d been gone for days and was already not looking forward to the shit show of teasing that would certainly be waiting for him if his brothers had been trying to reach him while he was out and he didn’t respond.
Daniel finally found his phone and began checking for messages and missed calls, he was relieved and yet surprised as he realized that there had been none, not one.
His short-lived relief and surprise turned to disbelief as he noted that he’d only been away for a few hours, and not the days that the evening had felt like…
He stood, descended the stairs, heading toward the hiding spot where he’d left his ride, hoping she was still there… Looking at his phone one last time as he stuck it back in his pocket, and a tingling ran up his spine as he noted the time on his phone,
It was 11:11 pm.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Estelle refilled their coffee cups as Cara thought back to earlier in the evening, to the moment when she had left her house.
“I'm not certain what it was” Cara began, “It was like a rage-filled chaos, I could feel the anger, like a black ball of tar slithering toward me, but it was more than that… there was sadness and fear and anger and confusion..
Like all the world was having a temper tantrum that only I could feel, like somehow it was aimed right at me, boring into my chest…” Cara was silent as she sipped her coffee, silent, yet still thinking, still remembering.
Estelle considered Cara’s words and could feel the sensations that Cara had felt prior to fleeing to the safety of Estelle’s home.
“It was Michael….” Estelle’s Guardians spoke to her softly, sharing an image of the man in question in her mind’s eye.
She gasped and looked at Cara… “Uuuumm, have you talked to Michael at all since you last saw him?”
Cara looked up from studying her coffee mug, she tried to formulate a response, but the words wouldn’t come.
“We are with you Cara, you are safe” Cara’s Guardians sent a wave of love and comfort over Cara, but she barely noticed it.
“I ~ Ah, um, until tonight, he hadn’t crossed my mind.” Cara finally replied.
Estelle studied Cara, looking for the words that Cara couldn't bring herself to say.
“And what were your thoughts on him tonight?” Estelle gently asked.
Cara took a deep breath and looked back to her coffee mug, now empty in her clasped hands, “Only that I can’t do that again, that I can’t put myself in another situation where I could potentially be left broken and emotionally devastated….”
Her voice faded and the words stopped coming, and Estelle knew exactly what Cara knew… that the inner emotional places we refuse to go are the exact places we are meant to go, for those places are where the healing needs to happen.
Not to be re-lived, but to be let go, to allow space for healing to happen.
Estelle shook her head as she recalled that most people call those feelings ‘triggers’, like somehow they could shoot you and harm you all over again.
As though she’d been listening to Estelle’s thoughts, Cara looked up and with tears in her eyes whispered “please, don’t make me.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Daniel was almost to the end of the driveway when the voices started again, or at least, one voice.
“Young man, opportunities like this don’t come around too many times in a lifetime, you best not walk away and mess it up!” His Grams’ voice came through loud and clear, stopping Daniel in his tracks.
“Grams,” Daniel muttered aloud... “What is going on?”
“Yes sugar, I am with you, always have been and always will be. Right now I need you to hear these words baby, you must go back, she has been sent to help you, you've met her for a reason ~ go back!”
Daniel stood frozen in place in the middle of the driveway, in plain view of the world around him, lost in thought~ listening~as a car went flying by, its stereo thumping and headlights illuminating Daniel and the yard around him.
Pulling Daniel out of his thoughts and alerting him to a figure standing just out of reach of the lights, across the street, in the shadows.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Estelle could feel Cara’s heartbreak and fear as though it were happening to her own self right in this moment and tears began to form in her eyes.
She walked around the table and wrapped her arms around Cara’s shoulders.
“It's ok sweetheart, I know it hurt you deeply and I know you’ve hidden it away deep inside where you thought it could never hurt you again, but it's been hurting you over and over again from within, and now is the time to let it out. You must open that hiding place within and set it free, that is the only way to heal it, to release it, to move forward in your life.”
She released her bear hug on Cara and sat down next to her, taking both Cara’s hands in her own, Estelle sent waves of healing love and compassion to and through Cara.
Tears rolled down Cara’s cheeks as she finally looked up at Estelle. “I know that what you say is true, but I don’t think I can go through that again… I don’t believe I'm strong enough.”
“We are with you, you are safe, you can be free from this.” Cara’s Guardians spoke to her as a new wave of grace-filled love washed over her, filling her with warmth and hope.
Cara exhaled in relief as she felt the love of Divine flow through her, releasing the tension that had been holding the old hurts in place. Tension that she had become so used to, she hadn’t even realized that it was still a part of her being.
“This is the energy work that you’ve been avoiding.” Estelle said gently. “That tension that you’ve become so immune to, that is what is begging to be released, holding it in is what has been constipating your own energy flow, it's been holding you back, even though you've fought and struggled to move forward.”
Cara leaned back in her chair, on the edge of feeling the relief of letting it all go, yet still clenching herself in fear of all the feelings that wanted to come to the surface, feelings that she had spent years avoiding and years trying to hide from.
She looked at Estelle, fear and doubt clouded her thoughts, but her heart and soul knew what needed to happen.
“Ok, let's do this.” Cara finally and freely stated.
To keep reading, CLICK HERE for chapter 12!